Risensoldier's Blog

Dad, why did you have to go? Part 2 lessons I have learned in the dark

risensoldier — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 04:01:43 +0000

I left off by introducing a addictive habit that became my worst enemy. That addictive behavior was smoking. I use to smoke at least two packs a day. God didn’t want just part of me though. He wanted all of me. We moved to a new area in Ohio. New people and a new school. But, you cant escape God. I didn’t know what or who was following me. Do you know that feeling though when you feel someone is following and watching you? That is how I felt. I didn’t know at the time what it was. I started asking God. Why did you have to take my dad? Suddenly the man who was so strong. Who didn’t shed a tear became so weak and wept like a baby and that is when the healing begun. Soon after that I started going to church. Not knowing what to expect. My family background is not that of a religious background. God was someone I heard of but, I didn’t know him, personally. After a few short months I heard of God’s love for me. His acceptance, his grace and his mercy. I responded by giving my life to him. Trading my hell for his heaven. My sorrow for his joy & my sin for his forgiveness. I found new friends, started reading the bible and praying and then God answered my prayer. God took my earthly father, so I could know a heavenly one. I felt a sense of peace I never felt before. That was the peace with God. I still needed to experience the peace of God. I cut down on my smoking and hid it from the world and that caused me to isolate myself. I had friends catch from time to time. Christian friends. Not one of them who caught me though none ever seeked to heal the pain that caused me to smoke. They just looked at me with disgust and didn’t show me the love that I felt from their maker. That caused me to isolate myself even further. I would wash my hands to get that yellowish tint of my fingers and brush my teeth to get that nasty smell out of my breath. The shame and guilt was overbearing. Time after time I prayed “God take this away” but, he wouldn’t until I realized I had to get my heart right and not have the motive of doing this to become a “better Christian or a better person” but, to do this simply because God loves me and he wants all of me not, just part of me.God finally delivered me of it. Through I have learned to persevere to never give up. To love God radically with all my heart, soul and strength.There is still a lot I have to learn and still have a lot of stories to share. But, these ones are the lessons ive learned in the darkness. Now that I am free God has been working on me not to isolate myself but, allow myself to be shown to the world.

Hebrews

risensoldier — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 01:37:28 +0000

There are many speculations on who actually wrote the book of Hebrews. States the

possible authors such as Paul, Barnabas, Luke, Clement, Apollo’s, Phillip, Priscilla, Aquilla and Silas. As

stated on http://www.experiencegrace.com/Authorship_of_Hebrews.html it refutes a Pauline

authorship

and argues a minority view of a petrine authorship of Hebrews by comparing the two books and

The similar versus they both share. One example of this from the article is in “I Peter 1:9 receiving the end

of your faith, even the salvation of your souls. It compares it to a verse in Hebrews which states at 10:36 for

ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise… 39

But

we are not of them who draw back unto perdition; but of them that believe to the saving of the soul.

The early church had many different views on the authorship of Hebrews and just is another

example of how unity in the early church was not present, especially between the east and the west.

As the West. On http://www.christianinconnect.com/hebrews.htm states that the early church in the

east thought Paul wrote it. The early church in the west refuted a Pauline authorship. While Rome

marked the letter as anonymous. But the best answer given was one of Origen of the early church who

said “But as to who it was that really wrote the epistle, God only knows”

I believe Paul is the author of Hebrews, for it would assure canonicity. As he was held in

high regard to the early church. The book also discusses the humiliation of Christ and his work as a

sacrifice and the Importance of the new covenant and a high regard for personal prayer which is parallel to his other
writings. He also refers to Timothy in the book and he was a close companion of Paul’s.

ROWE ADDRESS

risensoldier — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 01:36:26 +0000

by Scott Edwin Rowe on Thursday, January 28, 2010 at 2:50am

Its been a long time since I had a state of the Rowe Address. For those of you who do not know I was hit by a car that sent me 150 ft. and broke my leg, and I was walking on the sidewalk. I had to file for bankruptcy to pay off my hosptial bills. The guy didnt have insurance. Thank you so much to the people who came to see me for your support and encouragement. All I remember is reciting part of psalm 23 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters. But that experience has done alot of Good. It allowed me to grow closer to Kim and really see God. Currently I am still working at Wendys and Ive started school online. I’m still pursuing what I believe God has called me to do. To use what the world has perceived as my weakness and allow God’s strength to overcome it for he says “My strength is made perfect in weakness” that way he will receive all the glory. Lately I have felt so tired, so worn out. All I want to do is sleep but there’s too much to do. Thanks to getting hit by a car I was able to afford to get one. Imagine that lol Whats really been on my mind a lot is depression. I mildly suffer from it, but I know people who it effects dearly and it tears me up. It makes me feel helpless sometimes. Like their is nothing I can. Another thing is getting past my insecurities and let myself out. Meaning just talking and communicating more. Like I can write it out alot better then I can speak it. Well this has been the State of the Rowe Address. Thank you and God Bless.

Where did the passion go?

risensoldier — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 01:35:02 +0000

by Scott Edwin Rowe on Sunday, April 18, 2010 at 1:51am

As i write this I hear people say my soul dies daily and on the television “No one can save you” This world can bring hell on earth. So many people I know have lost alot of faith in God & in people. I don’t think anyone knows how it hurts me incredibally to be a witness of this and i just wish i could do something about it. But it’s out of my hands. Ive asked severally people to come to church with me. Few have accepted the invitation and it makes me wonder, am I to blame? Am I that horrible to be around? Or have people really fallen that far that they lose the true sight of why you goto church. You don’t go for people or the music. But you go for God. How many excuses are people going to make. I understand certain people have a healing process that they need to go through & this is not for them. But others believe that they have a healing process to go through when in reality they don’t. People who are abandoned by leadership are the ones who need the true healing. Christians can be seen to be hypocrites more easily than someone who does not profess any beliefs because Christian standards are defined in the Bible, whereas personal standards can be changed to fit circumstances or are unknown to others. The bottom line is that all humans are hypocrites because we all fail to consistently live up to any standards of behavior that are defined. The difference is that Jesus forgives the hypocrisy of believers and has sent His Holy Spirit to guide and transform those who know Him as Savior and confess Him as Lord (Romans 10:9-10). Another myth is “I don’t need church to be a Christian” Which in the statement alone is true. But, if you wanna grow as a christian you need to experience fellowship from other believers because it’s from them that we receive encouragement and we find ourselves influenced by them and it’s one of ways we hear God’s voice. Without fellowship our faith will become frail and dry. Some may say church is boring because it’s repetitive. But isnt that life? Don’t we all follow a daily routine? The bottom line is Jesus loves you, right where you are. We can’t save ourselves. Sometimes I think we try to do that. The we includes myself. It’s like we try to be our own saviour and that why confession to each olther is so hard. Because we come face to face. Flesh to flesh but in reality that is where healing begins. That is my weakness also. I don’t like letting people see who I am with the curtain down.

MY TESTIMONY

risensoldier — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 01:32:20 +0000

My testimony

by Scott Edwin Rowe on Tuesday, August 3, 2010 at 8:40pm

Hi, im Scott Rowe, and I was saved on June 17th 2001, it was then that my heart accepted that Jesus was my Savior and this is my story

I grew up unchurched, My family never went to church. So i never really gave much thought to church. I thought it was just another building,

Growing

Up, I was a pretty good kid. Never really got into trouble, didnt really have time to. My family moved around alot, and that caused me to switch

schools alot, I went to 5 diffrent high schools. So I didnt have many friends, my friends were really my family.

I wasnt really looking for anything, I was

just cruising on the highway of life, But then in the year 2000 that highway hit a dead end, and my dad passed away of cancer. For three years he

laid sick in his bed, Paralized, needles threw every part of his body motionless and struggled just to speak, in my dads last days, he told me that i had to

be strong that i was going to become the man of the house.and in his last moments he went to God,his death made me grow up faster then i was

suppose to, at his funeral I didn’t shed one tear because i knew i had to be strong for my mom and my brother, but for years after his death, every

night i would cry out. My heart started to ask alot of questions, and thats when i recieved an invitation to U-TURN Student ministries

When i came to U-TURN in May of 2001 i felt like a black sheep among a heard of many white ones. I felt like there was a piece missing in this

puzzle called life, and in U-TURN they had that missing piece, and i didnt. On June 17th 2001 I remember the song, Lord Reign In Me was being

played, and the words Lord Reign in me, Reign in your power, over all my dreams in my darkest hour. Those words struck me, I started to

remember the dark hours of my life, my sin, my sorrows, my lonelyness, and the loss of my dad, at that moment i realized Jesus was the missing

piece of the puzzle that ive been searching for, i traded my sin for forgiveness, hell for heaven, and my sorrows for his joy.

When i accepted

Jesus that day i finally felt complete, and that day i recieved a gift that no money can buy, that no eyes can see, that no hand can take away, and

that gift is the holy spirit, and i relized that my life had a purpose, and that purpose was to bring glory to Jesus Christ, My shelter, my strength and

my savior and this is my desire. I now know that through losing my father. God used that to bring me to Jesus. From all of this i have two

nephews, who’s father has abandoned them and they now live with me, and i desire to be a christlike father figure to them in their lives, and to

remind them that we all have a heavenly father who will never leave us, and that is Jesus Christ, and i pray that God gives me

the strength and opportunities to do this.

FRIENDSHIP

risensoldier — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 01:29:36 +0000

What is friendship? A question that I have pondered for a while that has just re-surfaced. I have had a lot of friends in my life. But, sadly many of them have left or drifted away from my life. Some because they couldn’t accept me for who I am, some because they listened to gossip that just wasn’t true. Other’s because of my failures to be the friend to them that I would want them to be to me. The same could be said of my family. I am still trying to rattle out of the cage of my silence but, the chains of in-security and laughter still clatter in the cell of my soul. In the beginning of the book of 2 Timothy. Paul is in prison for the sake of the gospel and is experiencing some of the saddest times of his life. He speaks of regrets of certain actions of some false friends. “This thou knowest, that all they which are in Asia be turned away from me; of whom are Phygellus and Hermogenes.” (2Ti 1:15 KJV)

but, then rejoices over the actions of a true friend. See The Lord give mercy unto the house of Onesiphorus; for he has refreshed me, and was not ashamed of my chain: But, when he was in Rome, he sought me out very diligently, and found me. The Lord grant unto him that he may find mercy of the Lord in that day: and in how many things he ministered unto me at Ephesus, thou knowest very well. (2Ti 1:16-18 KJV) So maybe in reality I never had as many friends as I thought. The ones that I have today & the ones that return tomorrow were the only real friends I’ve had. The rest were an illusion. The qualities of a real friend are those who encourage you and lift up your spirit, (For he has refreshed me) who gently correct you when you are wrong, those who aren’t ashamed of your weaknesses,(and was not ashamed of my chain) those who never give up on you(he sought me out very diligently) & those who speak truth in your life.(He ministered unto me) Paul and John Mark went separate ways also as Paul prepares for his second missionary journey. What their disagreement teaches us is how to deal with differences of opinion in the church, and how John Mark was restored to his Christian walk after taking time out. (Acts 15:36-41)

free

risensoldier — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 01:27:28 +0000

Free for what?

By Scott Edwin Rowe · Saturday, January 22, 2011

If we are truly free what are we free from? The guilt of our own conscience from things we once thought was right to do that once rung the bells of our own Liberty now ring of our condemnation. We are now free from making choices that would bring our own destruction if we bind our minds to the will of our heavenly father. But there are still wounds…

State of the Rowe

risensoldier — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 01:24:05 +0000

It’s been a while since I have done one of these. With all the change going on in my life right now I only see it as the

right time to do so. 2011 will go down in the year of change. As I continue my custodian duties at the chapel which has

been such a blessing for me. I love working in a church yet at the same time I miss having the opportunity to witness to

people outside of the church. I will be getting married in August to Kim Glendinning which I am really excited about. I

can’t wait to start my life with her. My friend situation has changed a lot. I’ve decided to part ways with someone I use

to consider a best friend. We have grown a part and don’t share the same interests anymore and numerous people have

told me he is a bad influence to me including my old Pastor. I was friends with him for ten years so I know it won’t be

easy. Also my mom will be moving out soon. I really wish I knew more of my family. I feel like since my dad died I have

been sheltered and isolated from most of my family. I don’t know what I would do without my church. They have been

there for me through thick and thin. In a couple months I will graduate from Liberty with a certificate in theology which is

equivalant to an associates degree and then I will be taking the summer off to concentrate on the wedding and then

continue my education in the fall. God is so faithful. I could not of done anything without him. Even though I am poor I

am made rich in him and I know that everyday that passes by makes it one more day that I am closer to him because

there is nothing that can compare on this road then what is waiting at the end. If there is something that I have learned

during periods of change its to hold fast to let go and let God.

Habakkuk

risensoldier — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 01:22:19 +0000

The prophet Habakkuk struggles with a lot of the same questions that we struggle with today. Such as “Why are the wicked not being punished? Why is God using a godless nation to judge his people? David prayed a lot of prayers that are related to these questions. These psalms are called imprecatory psalms which plead for God to invoke judgment or curses on the enemies that are causing harm to the one praying. In closing he reveals that his book was actually a song “GOD, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer’s; he makes me tread on my high places. To the choirmaster: with stringed instruments. (Hab 3:19)

I think its okay to question God; he is big enough to handle our doubts. He wants us to be honest with him. It makes no sense to hide anything from him because he is all-knowing and the true worshipers will worship him in Spirit and truth and when we confess our doubts we are revealing our internal struggle and our brokenness and we have to remember he resists the proud but, gives grace to the humble.

I don’t think we should pray destruction on specific people because in the New Testament which is the covenant we are now under we are told to love our enemies. But, I do believe in praying in the breaking of strongholds and praying for God Kingdom to come and his will to be done. We can praise God through anything he is always faithful even when we are not. Habakkuk shows how much faith he has and how he trusts in him no matter what is going on around him. He has his focus not on the temporary which is unseen, but what is eternal and that lasts forever. I end this discussion with a question of my own. If God is for us, who can be against us?

state of the rowe

risensoldier — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 01:18:34 +0000

state of the rowe address (James 1:2-4)

2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

As many of you know, ive had a interesting last few months. 1st i was driving across an intersection when i got hit by a car that ran a red light. But no witnesses. So the guy got off easy. Then one night i call off work for the next day, only for my place of employment to call me and tell me they never got my call off. Then i had three of my closest friends stab me in the back. Then my latest accident as i was walking on the sidewalk, i hear a sound so i slowely start to turn. Then Smack a car hits me on the sidewalk and i leave an indent of seven inches on his windshield, then roll 150 feet and i came out of it with only a broken leg. The guy didnt have insurance so he’s going to get off pretty easy fiancially. God knew i couldnt do this alone, so he sent Kim to me, whom i thank God for everyday. She has already wiped my blood and vomit up and has been there for me. im so tired all the time, i never can sleep. i feel like a zombie i know this is only temporaray, the pain is only temporary, and there will be a day when Chrsit comes back and all the pain, grief and sorrow is taken away.